Things you may have never imagined about friendship

Friends: Those people with whom we've been sharing moments in our life; they come and go. Some of them stay for a long time; some of them don't. You know when it's a true friendship when even though they are not sharing everyday with you, they stay in your mind, in your memories, and in your heart as well.

I mean, these people have been part of your life; and you've been part of theirs (circumstantially but for real). You're both human beings and understand each other (at least most of the time). However this is something we should develop with every human being, isn't it? We are sharing the planet; we're sharing the oxygen, the oceans and everything that surround us; but we choose a group of friends or a specific person. I don't know why. Maybe we're not totally integrated as human beings.  Maybe we have big egos and we carefully choose our friends. We don't want to get hurt; we know it could happen; we know we've been hurt; we know we could hurt them.

In a way, I think this is a signal of the lack of evolution we're passing as human beings. We're full of envy, jealousy, sadness, arrogance, so many negative things. However, I know that deep inside of us we're only afraid. We forgot to love unconditionally. We're afraid of getting hurt. We started to wish for power and we forgot about our humans brothers and sisters. We forgot even our environment as part of our home. The nature around us is falling apart because of the contamination, the globalisation and the wars we invent to gain power.

What's wrong with us? I know this is a difficult question to answer when we're the first ones imposing our wishes to others; wanting to be better than others; and still we call ourselves "social" beings. I think is not the same to have social relationships that to care about the people around us. We should care more about everyone, but we know that not everyone care about us. So we do the same; we classify people; we choose the "best" ones etc. It's understandable but I believe it could be better than that you know? We could develop honest love between each other. We could have a better society.

I'm writing about this because when you're living abroad, your closest friends are not longer physically with you; and you see everybody trying to make new friends. I'm in the same spot; but I've been thinking about it and I'll do my best to find goodness in all the people, including those who doesn't seem to cover the expectations of my ego. That doesn't mean I'm going to stay with negative people but I'm going to care more about humans in general, even those who I don't know and probably never will.

Why You Shouldn't Help Only Your "Good" Friends?

Everybody have or have had friends... When you're a child you start making friends without realizing it. The social contact is something almost unstoppable. You need to interact with others in a way that you can learn from them and teach them as well. It's good to have someone else with who you can share things about this phenomenon that we all have in common: Life.

Your parents and relatives are your first friends; you don't have other option neither. Still, they are really important in your social and personal life. Moreover, they are gonna be like that forever. So, you have to get use to it. However, what about your other friends? Do you feel that you have real friends or just acquaintances? Do you think that friends are circumstantial only? Do you believe in truly friendship between a woman and a man without involve any romantic or sexual aspect? What do you think friendship is? Would you be friend of someone that doesn't help you? Does friendship has to be mutual? Is friendship really for free or you have to pay in some way for it?

It seems that every relationship, including friendships, need to have two cooperatives parts. Perhaps a truly friend would be willing to help you at any time if you are willing to help him or her. After all you're friends, you support each other always, don't you? A good friend always make you feel good or listen to your problems without judging; and even when you loose contact with them, or your relationship is not the same, you'll always remember them with happiness; all the things you two did together, besides all that learning, no matter what happens, it's gonna be with you forever... Beautiful isn't it?

Well, I was thinking about it and it's interesting why we don't do the same for people that is not willing to help us, or people that don't know us, or perhaps people that have hurt us... My question is Why? Is it necessary to do something good only for our friends because someday they are gonna be "good" enough to pay us back? It scares me...

Matthew 4:55 Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

That doesn't mean that make friends is a egotistic thing; perhaps it's just an agreement of mutual support between similar people helping each other (without any contract terms). Anyway, having friends is a responsibility, whether we like it or not. We need to be there for them and do everything we can without any excuse. We have to be happy to help always!

On the contrary, you can help your "enemies" without being their friends, you can spread love to everyone without feeling responsible of anything. It's a free way to help others without even knowing them.  An you know what? you don't need to expect that they help you in the future, but perhaps they'll do it anyway. I guess that's something we can't change about our specie.