Growing up and finding happiness!

I've been thinking about the verb (or phrasal verb like my teacher would say ) "Grow up"; perhaps because I'm gonna be 26 years old in about 3 months. So I was wondering if I've grown up enough until now.

According to thefreedictionary.com the word "Grow" refers to develop and reach maturity. Moreover, it says that to "Grow up" is to become an adult. However, I was questioning what does the word "adult" really mean? Well, I googled it and the first answer appeared on Wikipedia: "Biologically, an adult is a human being or other organism that has reached sexual maturity. In human context, the term adult additionally has meanings associated with social and legal concepts. In contrast to a "minor", a legal adult is a person who has attained the age of majority and is therefore regarded as independent, self-sufficient, and responsible."

All that information made realize that biologically and legally speaking, of course I'm an adult. However, have I reach maturity? Well, I checked the concept and this was the answer: "In psychology, maturity is the ability to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act, according to the circumstances and the culture of the society one lives in."

After reading these concepts, I think that "Growing up" is a process that you pass through day by day; and there´s not a particular age to reach real maturity. In fact I've known "old people" who are completely immature.

I guess that I'm still in the process of growing up, specially taking in consideration this part: "Being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act" I know that the definition is incomplete, of course. However, it made me realize that "Growing up" implies to behave in the best way. For me, that means that  if you want to reach a better purpose, you need to let go the "bad" things you've done before or the ones you want to continue doing; but I also know that sometimes is difficult to choose sides (the concept of good and bad is up to you). I guess we have to fight for it, although that could be a battle against our own feelings and basic instincts.

It is also important to be awake, because sometimes we want to be happy only if our family or friends behave in a particular way; or if they give us exactly what we want to receive (even if it's something that it's not possible or it's part of our egoistic desires). We are so close-minded and sometimes so blind, that we want to fulfil our needs through a relationship (any kind), like it was a food service; when we really need to find happiness and love through ourselves. I believe that's the job we have to do to finally "Grow up"; and when we accomplish it, we only need to teach others how to do the same.

I have a lot of work to do now... Growing up is a hard but rewarding work I suppose!

<This post was written thinking about my future children and family> 



Follow me on Twitter @lady_jerez

Is there coincidence or destiny in our life?

Do you believe in coincidences or in destiny? I believe in both... I believe that some things are meant to be only if you take the opportunity. I believe that only if you follow the signs, you'll find the person you're supposed to be. Perhaps you have several possibilities in your destiny. Each decision could be a determinant factor to change your life, thus your destiny. However, some things seem to exist for a reason. If you have read my first post of the year (or if you know me as a friend), you know I'm a "spiritual" person. That's why I believe on this force that some people call "God"; I'm talking about that invisible force, which is moving the pieces of the universe at this very moment. That's right! I believe on that crap, as so many people think it is... I would like to tell you my experience about why I believe on that "crap" anyway:

Things started to make a lot of more sense a few years ago. Now I know how well connected those things have been in my life. I suppose I can start talking about the moment I was in secondary school. When I was living in Caracas, Venezuela and even though the school had some "bad" influencers in my class, I was a very good student. Anyway, I kept studying, having good scores, being friend of the "good" boys and girls as well. During that period I loved listening Enya (irish singer) while I was studying for my exams; fairies and leprechauns were, for some reason, characters in which I believed and wrote about.

I finished my last year with honours. Although I was brilliant in biology, I decided to study something related to humanities: Social Communication and Advertising were my main options. Despite my desire of being a journalist, I could study advertising in a small institute of "new professions". I wasn't completely sure about it. However, it was my only option if I wanted to study something similar and cheaper than journalism. I don't regret it. It was the decision that I needed to make to find my destiny without knowing it. Meanwhile, I was working as an operator, selling hotel memberships in a little office near my house. I had to call a lot of people from a list everyday. It was stressful because you needed to sell if you wanted to gain extra sales commissions. At the same time I was happy because I was studying my first semester of advertising.

My father couldn't understand why I was studying that; he was worried thinking how could I get a job in my country having "that" profession (taking in consideration the difficult political situation). To be honest, I didn't know either, but I had hope and I was following my heart . I was paying my own studies thanks to my "operator" position. Suddenly I got an interview due to one of my sales calls. The man that answered that call didn't buy the membership that I was selling. However, he liked my way of selling and didn't believe that I was 18 years old. So he invited me to his office; he was the owner and director of an insurance brokers company. Moreover, they were creating a new marketing department and they were interested in my skills. "Fortunately" I got the job, even though I didn't had official experience about marketing. So I was starting my second semester and I already had a job position related to my studies (marketing assistant). That was amazing!

After almost two years working with them, I decided to quit and find a new path. I was finishing my degree and I needed to do an internship. I was tire of selling insurances... So I applied to several companies. Then, I found one free position in a digital agency. I started working there and I gained a lot of experience related to online marketing. I was discovering a whole new world; learning things about domains, hosting, Google ads, SEO, SEM, etc. Additionally, I found love among all that working and learning. He and I had the same dream of living abroad someday. We even applied to get the Canadian Visa (which we failed). He published his CV on a international job platform and he actually received an Irish job proposal that he couldn't get because he didn't have a work permit. Even though the possibility of living abroad was going far away, we kept dreaming about it.

One year and four months passed and I got a new job proposal from an international NGO. I was delighted with the possibility of working for their cause: Helping children. They accepted me in the new online fundraising department and I loved it since the beginning. Even though I had the skills they needed, I had to learn new things because this area was new in the Venezuelan market. People from Europe went to my home-country and gave me all the information I needed to start making online campaigns to raise funds for the cause. In a few weeks I was launching banners campaigns an doing email marketing. The outcomes were impressive. Everybody was keen of my work and I even started to train other colleagues.

I worked in that NGO for almost three years until my boyfriend and I decided to live together and founded our own digital agency. We wanted to keep helping NGOs and developing websites and blogs for other companies. We did it from home for around one year; we had our own studio for it (inside of the new apartment we had recently bought). Meanwhile my CV was becoming better for a 24 year-old girl. Then, we travelled to the USA (to explore Miami and Orlando); It was there when we realized more than ever that our home-country was in a very difficult situation and that we needed to go away as soon as possible. Finally, we started to make the arrangements to reach our goal (selling our new car was one of those sacrifices we made). The signs guided us to a country that I always had dreamt about; Ireland.

Everything that happened could've been a coincidence; or maybe I made my own destiny by myself. I'm not sure, but now that I'm looking backwards, I see an intelligence behind all those opportunities that I've taken. I believe that there's a plan behind our life. A plan that maybe we made before incarnating into this world... but that's just if you believe on that kind of crazy things.

Now, it's up to you. Look backwards and make your own conclusions.

My First 25 Years of Questions About Life

I'm not sure how to start this... my story. I'm 25 years old at the moment. Recently, my boyfriend has written a kind of autobiography on his blog, so I was thinking that perhaps it is a good idea to do it as well. Also it is a way to practice my English in an informal way. Here we go then:

Western Peak. Warairarepano Mountain. Venezuela

I was born in Caracas, Venezuela the 12nd of April 1988 according to my registration papers. However, my real date of birth is the 13rd of April 1988. My parents are from Colombia but they decided to live in Venezuela thanks to my grandmother, who was working hard in this neighbouring country since many years ago. I don't remember my first years of life, obviously... but I know I really enjoyed to live there. I was 5 or 6 years old when suddenly my mother decided to go back to Colombia. She packed and went to the airport with my father, me and my older sister (Linda). I remembered she told me that she had a surprise for me and she'd give it to me when we arrive to Colombia. I was curious about it, but I needed to be patient. Then we finally arrived and she told me: -You're gonna have a younger sister-  I was surprised and said: -I haven't see you two kissing each other... How is this possible?- Everybody laughed about it and didn't explain anything; they just kissed me and keep walking to our new home in Bucaramanga, a beautiful city in the state of Santander, Colombia. It was well known as "The Parks City" because it was plenty of them.

Sabanalarga Puerto Colombia Church 

When I was 7 years old I started to learn about Catholicism. My Colombian family was very religious, so I started to go every Sunday to the Catholic Church. For some reason I found it quite interesting. I liked the feeling that I had when I was in silence, talking to "God" or trying to understand its messages through the bible. However, for a long time I was afraid of sleeping alone and darkness. I never missed a mass or a religious event. I even started to pray the rosary at home before going to sleep or at any time; trying to feel less fear. I used to think a lot about the meaning of life; which was weird for a girl of my age. All I wanted was to know the truth about myself; the truth about the existence and "God". My primary question was: Is life eternal? What happens after death? I asked this to my mom several times, and she tried to explain that there is a heaven where good people go when they die, and a hell for bad people who die. That was the Catholic explanation, but it didn't convince me at all... Something else has to exist. However, I didn't have any other theory to relay on. So I continued going to the church as much as I could. After a while I began to assist almost everyday... not just to the mass, but also to kneel in front of the shrine at the end of the ceremony, just to talk to "God". I knew "He" was listening to me but I wasn't sure of what "He" was answering (now I know that I was starting to meditate without even know it). I just felt its energy in a way that is difficult to explain. Each time that I came back from the church to my house, everybody affirmed that I was gonna be a Catholic nun. They were impressed and very excited about it. Also, I used to visit my grandmother on holidays and pray with her every night. I couldn't help thinking about the concept of life, over and over... Pray wasn't enough. I needed to find something else and I discovered it pretty soon. Meanwhile I was assisting to gymnastic classes during the afternoons, which I loved for some reason. Moreover I had the flexibility required for that (now I understand that I was close to the practice of spiritual Yoga).

When I was 13 years old my mother encouraged me with the idea to go back to Venezuela. She was gonna sell the apartment to start a new life in Caracas again. I had to go first, while she and my father were doing the paperwork and my sister was finishing her last year of secondary. I needed to start 2nd grade of secondary and because the educational calendar was different in Venezuela, I had to hurry up and begin the classes almost immediately. I was gonna live with my aunt and my three male cousins. I was excited and a little scare because I was gonna be far away from my parents and sisters for a few months. Finally I went through it, but the same doubts about life were still there. I began to write my feelings and my own answers; to read a lot about spiritual sciences and different kind of philosophies as well. Then, I realized that each one had similar concepts with different names.

The Helix Nebula

Years passed and when I was 18 years old, someone recommended me one of the books that have changed my life: Metaphysics 4 in 1 (by Conny Mendez). It has bases on Christianity but with a whole new vision of science and spirituality in one package. Its believes are also part of the New Age philosophy, wich is older than you may think. Nothing is a casualty... I read a lot about this, and finally started to find some answers, feeling less fear about the questions that I have had all my life. After that, I was in contact with myself, and my dreams at night became reveling. I felt more than ever the presence of God as an energy of the universe, and I was part o it. I felt angels and spirits that came to help me and guide me through my meditations. The ones that I've always done when I was a child, but now more conscious and deep. All these experiences made me realize what was happening in my childhood. Participating in yoga classes also helped me to realize a lot of things that I wanted to know as well.

Buddha Statue

Since then, I have had dreams reveling myself living in different times, living within other bodies, having unknown families... So, I believe in reincarnation. Not because somebody told me, but because I have experienced things that confirm my new believes. I had reached my 25 years, and even though I have discovered so many things; I'm still on a journey to my 50 years, which demands a lot of spiritual things to improve for now on. I'm living in Dublin now, and I'm sure that a new story begins here...