domingo, 31 de enero de 2016

Life goes on along with your identity...

I came to Ireland almost 3 years ago! I've spent 3 winter seasons here and this experience has turned my life around. I'm not longer involve with my birthplace problems as much as I was when I was living there. Now I can only hear what they tell me on Skype calls about it; read the news and pray for my family. I know Venezuelans are living a terrible experience with the current government ruling the country. Sadly, I can't do anything about it.

It hasn't been easy for me, though, living here I mean... Many people think I was courageous because I made the decision to emigrate my country to come to an unknown place like Ireland, more than 10 hours away from my loved ones. What they don't know is that I had always dreamt living abroad... However I've noticed that living your life so far away from home does change you. I've changed a lot. I certainly feel different about myself. I'm a 27-year-old lady who came to Ireland eager to explore the country and live this amazing European experience I had always heard of. I became an immigrant, which is nice at the beginning when you feel like a tourist. After that period of excitement something else comes. I can't describe it entirely, I'm not sure if it would be easy to write it down (even in Spanish). The thing is that I want to express my feelings from my new perspective in English. Have I changed? Am I someone different when I speak in English? Maybe... I'm not sure if I'm gonna get to the point where I feel as comfortable as when I speak/write in Spanish. I have several friends with whom I communicate in English, and of course being able of doing that is a wonderful experience. Beyond that, I have thousands of philosophical questions about my life here or anywhere else.

Sometimes I feel that my identity is not longer defined by my country ideals or anything related to my "Latin personality". The Venezuelan people I know here are leaving the country looking for new opportunities. Laws for Latin American immigrants are not as friendly as you might think. My connection to Venezuelans is slowly reducing to online chats and phone calls. So I have ended up making new European friends instead.

I'm still figuring things out. Nevertheless, I think life is a unique journey from which I still have a lot to learn from. My true identity seems to be more related to my essence than to my personality after all. Moreover, my spiritual beliefs are the ones shaping the new way I define my true self now .